I am Mount Saint Helens...

To whom it may concern:

Thank you so much for stealing my wallet today and almost causing me to have a nervous breakdown. I hope you are enjoying all of the purchases you've made so far, I tried to stop you, but you'd managed to make over $1000 dollars in purchases...at first, I wanted someone to catch you and take you in, so I can meet face to face with you and smack you accross the face with a baseball bat...but I've decided to try to let it go..which quite honestly, I'm having a hard time dealing with. Simply because of the lengths with which you took to get to my wallet...it just shows your malicious intent to bring trouble into other people's lives. It's just material stuff you took from me, and I'm not physically hurt, and I'll get over it. I'm not worried about that. I just hope you get your just rewards. They might not catch you, but God knows what you did...and you'll get what's coming to you...you a-hole.